Sometimes I just get this spaced out feeling.
My whole body shivers with pain and cold.
why do I feel like this,
how can I change,
what can I do to feel more alive.
I will never feel alive because in way I am not,
I am gone.
the mind and soul of a careless young girl,
so clueless and stupid.
I'll never face that life again.
cause I am already dead.
a suicide of sorts.
though I feel like its more of a murder.
by whom exactly I will never know.
nor will I understand why.
but trust and security are the last thing on my mind right now.
protection from them is always not a problem.
they have built up their own walls,from me,
from the world,from everything.
and no matter how hard I try I can't break them down.
so why bother?
why try to change something that cant change?
why try to fix something that is broken beyond repair?
why try at all?
and who might I ask would actually care if they died?
if the useless life of nothingness actually vanished for good.
I feel like it